The Dog that I was......

Well, however you wanna say it...."i am all shook up" "i am burning up" or literally, "I am a wreck" I tend to write like I talk, so who knows exactly how this will come out. I am just letting my fingers do the typing. The Lord has been so good to me and is revealing more than these fingers can type.....at least for now....more to come.....

To say that I have had a special touch from the Lord recently is a huge understatement. He has been so loving and gentle with me in my current life situation and ..... oh yeah, patient. I feel like I have been given an amazing gift! My love and adoration of Him taken to knew heights, but I know His love and adoration of me is AMAZING too! So when I say, I am a wreck, I mean it. I am head over heels in love with my Lord and it has me in quite a condition right now.

NOW................................

Some may know that my dog is causing a great deal of stress in my life right now. He doesn't obey, he makes me drag him to the crate......and I hurt my back every time it is bedtime. I had to break down and hire the doggie llama this week. I am sure I will be writing on it, cuz i am finding major parallels in my relationship with the dog to my walk with the lord...(is there a country music song in there somewhere?)

For instance, this morning, before the DL (doggie llama) came, I was inviting Samson into the house and he wouldn't come. He just wants to sit on the back porch waiting for the kids to get home from school....I enticed him in and even offered him a treat. I held it out and said, "wanna treat?" and he just stared at me...hesitant. Like he wanted it, but did this mean that I was gonna make him do something he didn't want to do? "Common, boy, its good," I coaxed. He inched a little closer, still hesitant...I knew he wanted it. Then, as I took a step to him, he darted the other direction. Like I was gonna try to lead him to his crate. So, I just ended up throwing it on the floor for him to come get and pick up on his own. I was really trying to love on him and be his friend. But, he didn't trust me....He still got the treat....but not the lovin' on.

Immediately, it caused me to reflect into my own life.

I am the dog, I thought. I know God has good things to show me, and good things to give me. He wants me to have them. He loves me. Sometimes, I am afraid because, If I surrender or take them, he is gonna make me do something I don't wanna do. It is a lie I have been believing for way too long. That lie has kept me from experiencing the fullness of the Lord for way too long. I saw myself in my dog today and actually felt sad. I saw me wanting the "treat" and hesitating for fear of being led to something I didn't want. When really, all God wants (and all I wanted) is to love on me, and enjoy me.....God telling me, "common girl, its good....." I have seen myself run the other direction when I know God is drawing near.....for fear. It is quite sad. Now, before you think, "oh poor Shelli, she is living in this torment...." No that ain't true either. This story is a picture of my old life. Sometimes, I still can get the treat....but not all the lovin' on He wants to give me.......

I have been touched by my Father, I know what he has for me is good. I know that He adores me. I have tasted his goodness in my life. I trust him completely. The picture I got this morning, it revealed the "old Shelli" and just solidified my relationship with Him. It makes me want to share with all of you how great it can be when we surrender to Him. When we just truly rest in Him. Believe that He is a good God, not a punishing one.

He wants to bless us (with treats) cuz that is just how good he is.....but he really wants to love on us too. We are his children!

New Car Adventure

Those of you who TRULY know me, and or have spent a significant amount of time with me, will totally get a kick out of this story. It is a CLASSIC Shelli story. Those of you who don't know me well.....this will give you a glimpse of the the "blonde" me that is just part of my charm....

Well, I got a new car last weekend...or a new SUV. I simply LOVE my new car. I am so proud of it, but kinda the Nazi mom right now with my kids. To Tripp (my 9 year old) I say things like, "if you spill that slushie in my car, I will kill you" I say in all LOVE!

Well, tonight, after football practice, I am anxious to get the kids home...Tripp has to eat, shower, and be in bed in 30 minutes. Lily has to do the same...but since she is older, she does get to watch America's got talent before bed.....but EVERYONE HAS TO BE IN BED BY 8:45 CUZ MOMMA'S GOT A 9:00 CONFERENCE CALL..... Funny how their prayers go a little extra long on this night, and how they want me to scratch their backs a little extra long too...and give a little more hugs and kisses. Well so what if I am on the call a few minutes late...my kids come first.

Anyway, back to the story. So I am anxious to get home and begin to crank up the engine, turn the key in the ignition...and .....Nothing! The car won't start....CRAP! They gave me a bum battery! I am thinkin....I mean, I did buy a used car afterall. I get out of the car to go try to get some help from a coach and no sooner have I gotten about 10 feet away, I hear Lily screamin, "momma! momma!" I turn to find the car rolling backwards on a downward sloping hill and she is in the front seat.....I sprint to the door...and as I am scramblin to get to the emergency brake before the car hits the wire fence....she is clawing all over me to get out of the car! I mean, I feel like I am wrestling a bear! Now what I yell at her isn't very nice while I am slammin on the break...it starts with a dammit and ends with a Lily exclamation point! I know, it was wrong...she was devestated that I said that to her...and I was sad too...I just reacted....since she was clawing her way out of the car for her life while I am clawing my way into the car to put on the break! I had to apologize and ask for forgiveness on that one.

So the story doesn't end here.....Once we regain our composure, say our sorries and I forgives, I start up the car....Cuz....you see, I figured out that battery hadn't died at all.....The car had been in neutral when I tried to start it! So it wouldn't start....Not sure how that happened.

Well we get going, but when I put on the gas.....I aint goin nowhere. Well the ground was soft from the rain that day! I'll be darned...I was stuck! So, I got out to go get Tripp's coaches...all three of em....two of them are behind my vehicle to push it while the other is in my vehicle to put on the gas. Guess what? I wasn't stuck at all....We realized that the emergency brake was still on...and my car is so new, I don't even know how to release it!!!!! Boy did I feel like a dumb blonde.

Its a great story...and one I can easily laugh at...but as I was telling my "funny" story to a friend on the phone driving home, Lily emphatically exclaims, "it isn't funny!" My poor girl is still shaking from thinking she was gonna die from the car rolling backwards. I guess it is time for me to teach her how to put on the emergency break....I need to teach her to laugh more too I think.

Life is full of these bumps and hiccups....these mishaps. The quicker we can shake off and laugh at ourselves and the less serious we take ourselves, I think the more we will enjoy life altogether. Stop being so serious.....geeeez!

I hope you enjoyed hearing this story. If you are a good friend from the past or present...you will especially appreciate it and get a great visual picture of the entire thing going down....

Love and Peace,

Shelli

hold it up to the light

Many of you know how much I love music. I think I have even blogged about it. I love music with powerful lyrics, music with a great beat, acoustic music, and silly music. I love a song that resonates with my soul..... to listen to the lyrics and try to figure out what was going on in the life of that songwriter when they wrote it. It is just a weird thing I guess. You will either get it or not.....

I have loved David Wilcox's music since I was introduced to it and to him for that matter back in 1994. My sweet friend Jere took me to a private acoustic performance, and then to a club to hear him live. I still have the CD he signed for me...Big Horizon. His music is real, and authentic, and there is no BS. His lyrics are sometimes serious and poignant, and other times, just silly and ironically hilarious....like the song, "Blow em away" (on my playlist to the right...careful..there is a naughty word or two)

The songbelow has really resonated with me lately. It is called Hold it up to the Light. (also to the right on my playlist)

When we make the difficult choices in life, how are we holding them up? I choose to hold mine up to the light....then make it... and if anyone disagrees with it, that is okay with me. The people pleaser in me is forever gone.....If I can live with my choices, then shouldn't my friends be able to live with them too? I know my true friends will always stand by me, no matter what. And there may not be as many true friends in my life as I thought there were....I know that it is gonna be okay. I am thankful for the true blues.

Hold it up to the Light!

It's the choice of a lifetime - I'm almost sure
I will not live my life in between anymore
If I can't be certain of all that's in store
This far it feels so right
I will hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

The search for my future has brought me here
This is more than I'd hoped for, but sometimes I fear
That the choice I was made for will someday appear
And I'll be too late for that flight
So hold it up - hold it up to the light,
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

It's too late - to be stopped at the crossroads
Each life here - a possible way
But wait - and they all will be lost roads
Each road's getting shorter the longer I stay

Now as soon as I'm moving - my choice is good
This way comes through right where I prayed that it would
If I keep my eyes open and look where I should
Somehow all of the signs are in sight
If I hold it up to the light

I said God, will you bless this decision?
I'm scared, Is my life at stake?
But I see if you gave me a vision
Would I never have reason to use my faith?

I was dead with deciding - afraid to choose
I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose
But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move
And trust that the timing is right
Yes and hold it up hold it up to the light
Hold it up to the light, hold it up to the light

A project I am working on....

I was going through my closet the other day....and I came across some old pictures. My curiosity peaked, I began to meditate on them.

My curiosity came from a conversation going back and forth on my face book page between my mother and my proxy mom. Reflections of the little girl Shelli, singing and entertaining the family. They were going on and on about the young sparkly Shelli. I asked for pictures of this girl. Hopefully, some of them are coming soon. I did go into my closet and find some old ones.

As I meditated and pondered this girl, teenager, woman, I gave myself an assignment. I began to put some chosen few on a timeline and write about that girl and the events going on in her life that matched up with her soul....her eyes.....her smile. They are all connected. Our eyes are the windows to our soul....As I remember the cute, sparkly, joyful, and full of life Shelli, I realize that that girl went away for a very long time. It was so evident in the pictures, especially in my eyes. But, she is coming back. I welcome her back. I embrace the starry eyed, spunky girl that God created me to be.

Everyone experiences wounds and pain growing up. I guess mine just snuffed the life right out of me for many many years. I didn't even realize it it until I began to study the pictures. Its all in the eyes. I studied the eyes of me in joyful carefree times, and the events that were hard. I wept for the little girl who got lost. I rejoice that I have been reunited with her again! I am inspired. In fact, recently, I was out dancing with some of my best friends, and one of them said, "we have unleashed the beast" My little girl joy was back. She's back, and not going away. In recent pictures of these times, you can see it in my eyes. The "pretending" is over.

The road I am presently traveling on this journey is precious. I will never forget it, even in the pain. I always and I mean ALWAYS felt like someday I would write my story and be able to help others through their difficult times. But the words never came as I sat with pen and paper. I never knew where to begin. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't time yet. The other thing is that I am really not trained to write. I just usually write like I talk.....but stories can be told in pictures too. Lately, I am fascinated with pictures....mainly the eyes...the windows.

Maybe I need to tell "a" story, maybe not necessarily "MY" entire story.....I am inspired to start this project. Everyone has their personal story of pain, and victory. Our pain, celebration, and healing is all unique. I want to weave our stories in and out of a tapestry of God's goodness and love through it. Isn't that what we are all encouraged to do? Help each other?

So in my project, I need help....I need pictures. Lots and Lots of pictures. I am calling upon my friends to send them to me. I would love anything. Anonymous or not doesn't matter. I would love pictures with the close-ups on the eyes. I want smiles and pain. I would love a paragraph or a few sentences about the time in the life of the picture. This project was just laid on my heart yesterday, and I am so excited about what kind of life this will take. I can't wait to see what God will do with it. Until I receive pictures, I will start with my own pictures of me, and my kids, and family members I already have. I know this promises to be a great journey.....If you would like to contribute to it, feel free to email me or mail me your picture or picture with a short paragraph or sentence or two.

My address is Shelli Norvell at 1019 Dunrobin Dr. Franklin, TN 37067

I will tell a story, and I will tell it through pictures...and some words, and some music. It will be a story of God's redemption....love and goodness.

Thanks so much

Love,

Shelli

Adventures in Sevierville, TN

Well,

I have taken the kids (my two plus their friends) on a mini vacation. We left at 7 am this morning to go towards Knoxville to the Wilderness Lodge that has the indoor and outdoor water park. I SOOOOO have needed a getaway....I have worked hard these last few weeks in my business...and while it is very rewarding to work hard at something I love and believe in, it is very rewarding to have fun away from it. So me and 4 kids are off to the water parks. I call it Redneck Central, cuz everyone here has at LEAST 1 tattoo and they aren't little discreet ones. These here tats, they are freakin murals painted across arms, backs, legs, and whatnot. And I always feel skinny, cuz most of the women-folk here in their bikinis, really shouldn't be. I love to people watch and I have gotten quite a chuckle or two here watching these people play. It was a blast today. At first, I let them play and have fun at first while I sipped on my margarita, read, texted....

But I had a blast riding the slides with them, and racing my son down the lazy river....and winning all times......Not a very fair race though....After all, I do have very strong legs after 6 months of boot camp! There is nothing like the joy in the eyes of your children when you play with them. I drank it in and relished every moment of it. Studying their eyes, and facial expressions of joy. I am fascinated with that right now. Eyes are windows to what you feel in your heart. Their hearts and mine were full of joy today.....

Then the snafoos began happening. By the time we got back to our room, and all 5 of us changed, showered (one bathroom), and were ready to walk out the door for dinner, we were starving! We realized, Jaxson (Tripp's friend) had decided to play with the safe, and put his only pair of shoes in it....AFTER I told him to not put anything in the safe for the reason I am about to disclose. He locked his shoes in there and couldn't get them out. If my eyes are reflecting my heart about now, their aint much joy...because, I cannot take him to TGI Friday's barefoot! So we are waitin a whole 30 more minutes to get maintenance up here to get them out. No big deal. Dinner is a little delayed, but we made it work and moved on. I did give Jaxson a stern word about obeying my instructions next time.

Well, now listen to this....fiasco number two hits. As we are hunkerin down to watch a movie and have popped two bags of popcorn in the microwave, my Lily burns the third....BAD....I mean, like stink up the entire hotel floor bad. We are waving at the air with towels, pillows, and whatever else we can find....with the door open to the hall...Tripp's refusing to come in for the stink. Jaxson is dying and yelling, "I can't breathe and my eyes hurt...and I can't sleep in here!" My self-control kicks in and I maintain my positive nature, but man did I just wanna kill Lily. I mean, we had the window opened, the air blastin, and the kids in the hall refusing to come in cuz they can't breathe and their eyes are watering. All I am thinking is that I sure hope I don't get dinged for this smell in the room. Wonder what my heart looked like then! I finally coaxed them all in...wheezin and coughin, and tearing up. "just keep fanning the air!" I vigilantly say. "Its gettin better right?" I then ask...hoping and praying it does...

We settled in again, microwaved off limits...and are hunkered down for a movie now. But dear sweet Lord, I pray for once that bad things DONT happen in threes. Say a prayer for me if you think about it.

We are really having fun so don't get me wrong. I love this.

Peace out!