If Only.......

I think that God uses my relationship with my children to teach me a lot of lessons about His love for me. I know it sounds weird, but true......at least for me.

The other day, I was again, frustrated with Lily's attitude. It was getting ready to be her birthday. Her party was a week away. She had NO idea that I had planned for her a big surprise sleep over at a hotel with some of her friends from school. She actually thought she wasn't getting a party at all, because of a previous punishment. For some reason, she was really being a "stink-pot" that particular morning one week before this awesome surprise I had worked up for her. Again, here comes an ungrateful heart, thus a stinkin thinkin attitude with it. AND she's not even in PUBERTY YET. Lord help this mama!

So, I'm in the kitchen makin her lunch and slammin down the bread, and slappin on the peanut butter, and throwing in the juice box and all the time just a rantin (in my head) on and on about "if only you knew the surprise I had in store for you....you wouldn't have such a bad attitude . and if only you knew the things I had planned........"

I stopped right there dead in my lunchbox tantrum of my own in my own stinkin thinkin.....

"Really!? God, Really?! can't I just express myself here first before you jump on in with my thinkin?" UGHHHH....I immediately hear his voice, gently again, remind me of this awesome love he has for me. He appeals to my heart by repeating back the words I was just thinkin about my own child. He says, "Shelli, if only you knew the blessings ahead....my glorious plans for you, my dear child, you wouldn't_______(fill in my yucky things here)________ Plus my ungrateful heart...blah blah blah......

If only......I wouldn't waste so much time on _______________. I would be thankful. I would be content. I would spend more time with you Lord.....

If Only....................

How would we all be different, IF ONLY...........

God is so full of grace and mercy. There is NO other God like this. There is NO OTHER GOD period. When will we embrace this. When will we truly understand it?

God has a glorious plan for our lives. We get sidetracked in our muck, and in our stinkin thinkin. We get off on tangents. Not Him. I want to receive my full purposes, I want to receive all that he has for me. I choose the straight path.....I choose to get off the tracks and back on the road. How about you?

What is your If only????????

Ya know, the sooner we learn about grace....God's grace, I think it would be better for us all. I mean GRACE. Not the, "thank you God for our good food" kinda grace. But Grace. Getting something we don't really deserve at all based on our attitude or actions. If I don't get it...then how are my sweet children gonna get it.

Recently, I was so frustrated with my ______________ attitudes. Fill in the blank with a person or persons of your choice. For me, it was my lovely children. Sound familiar? I was downright mad at their little ungrateful hearts. AND I was also sick and tired of apologies. I wanted RESULTS darnit! I am tired of the eyes rolling. I am tired of the complaining about having to do _______________ or the "I wish I had this new ___________" You get the idea. In my family, the ungrateful heart breeds a terrible attitude.

So, I am sick and tired of this display, and as I am driving down the road, I am just steaming about it. I want results. I am sick and tired of hearing the, "Sawwwwwrrreeeeeee" whine. I am thinking about how the NEXT conversation is about to go down. I am rehearsing how it will play out in my head. I am thinking, "The next time I hear one of you say 'I'm sorry', I'm gonna say back to them, All you ever say is sorry! But you never change, You keep doing the same things.....if you were truly sorry, you would change! You just keep doing the same old things!"

HMFFFFF! I'm driving, I'm fuming......I'm thinking this through some more, and almost immediately I am reminded of my sins and I MEAN IMMEDIATELY, I hear my heavenly father, my Papa, say this back to me. Like, a gentle loving dad. Not the way I sounded in my head ranting at my own children who I dearly love, by the way. He says it softly. Not condemning, but more like me at his lap, saying like my children say to me....."I'm sorry Papa, Daddy, I won't do it again. I am sorry for my unforgiving spirit.....my ungrateful heart, my judgemental heart, my mean words about people in my life who have hurt me. I am sorry God for not doing what I said I was gonna do for you. I am sorry I lost my temper with my kids. I was so busy yesterday, and I am sorry I didn't even talk to you or get in your word. I am sorry I don't see myself the way you see me....that I put myself down. How that must hurt you to hear how harshly I judge myself. Will you forgive me?" "I will try to do better, I promise......."

Can't we hear our children taken back to this with us? How much we love our children. How soft our hearts are for them. This is how our God feels about us.......to the power of about a .......million or so. I know we can get frustrated. I know our children test our patience. So do we test patience and frustrate.

So, I tell God I am sorry, and I am truly grieved at my heart's condition. (kinda like my sweet ones are sorry) "Lord, please forgive me," I beg. "Lord, will you help me in these areas? I want to be better." He says back to me, "Yes my child, I love you, I forgive you." 1 John 1:9 tells me that "If I confess my sin he is faithful and just to forgive it and then (here is the kicker) he cleanse me from all my unrighteousness" My sin is as far as the east is from the west now. I am clean and made righteous again. And his help is there. His help is in his word. His word, the Bible is life. It is full of instructions, right there for me to take in......

So what this teaches me is that while I don't really deserve God's grace here because my heart can be black, He still forgives. I am humbled. I want to show my children a picture of God in me. I want them to see love, patience, and forgiveness. The best picture of God that my children can ever receive is through my relationship with God. My love, patience, forgiveness, gentle instruction, gentle answers, gentle and loving discipline is teaching them more about God than any Bible devotion or lesson we have at the breakfast table.

The minute I understand His Grace and Mercy to me....The minute I choose to receive that Grace, is the minute I can extend it to my own children. I pray you will truly know God's love and grace, and his peace today.

Blessings,

Shelli

My big event Monday is a Dr. appointment with my orthopedic surgeon. Over two years ago, he fixed my feet by taking my bunions away. Now, one of the pins that he put in my bone on my left foot is just coming out to where you can feel it underneath my skin. It is slightly irritating.....and I wasn't in a hurry to get in....but they sure were in a hurry to get me in. So, I am in first thing Monday morning. I am slightly nervous about it.....I mean, like, what does one do in this particular situation? How does he get the pin to go back in? Is he gonna have to cut me open again? I guess I will find out very soon.

I hope that it won't keep me from working out....as I have just gotten back in that saddle. I am LOVING Pilate's at my gym, and YOGA at my church. It is so awesome!

I would appreciate all your prayers. Thanks so much! I will keep ya posted.

Daniel's Prayer from Daniel Chapter 9 is so amazing.

Daniel Begs God in his prayer for his people. Notice how many times he says "we" not they...he takes on the sins of the others as he lives his holy life. That is a true intercessory prayer right there. He steps into the place of others. God has been teaching me so much about that thing right there. Instead of pointing my finger at the sins of others and praying for them.... I need to step into that and assume that responsibility also as I pray forgiveness. Read this, and pray it for our country.

Daniel 9

Daniel’s Prayer for His People 1 It was the first year of the reign of Darius the Mede, the son of Ahasuerus, who became king of the Babylonians.[a] 2 During the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, learned from reading the word of the Lord, as revealed to Jeremiah the prophet, that Jerusalem must lie desolate for seventy years.[b] 3 So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and fasting. I also wore rough burlap and sprinkled myself with ashes.

Now, fasting doesn't always have to be food ya know.......

4 I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed:
“O Lord, you are a great and awesome God! You always fulfill your covenant and keep your promises of unfailing love to those who love you and obey your commands.

Daniel first comes to God in adoration....kinda like the Lords Prayer, when Jesus teaches his disciples to pray.....

5 But we have sinned and done wrong. We have rebelled against you and scorned your commands and regulations. 6 We have refused to listen to your servants the prophets, who spoke on your authority to our kings and princes and ancestors and to all the people of the land. 7 “Lord, you are in the right; but as you see, our faces are covered with shame. This is true of all of us, including the people of Judah and Jerusalem and all Israel, scattered near and far, wherever you have driven us because of our disloyalty to you. 8 O Lord, we and our kings, princes, and ancestors are covered with shame because we have sinned against you. 9 But the Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him. 10 We have not obeyed the Lord our God, for we have not followed the instructions he gave us through his servants the prophets. 11 All Israel has disobeyed your instruction and turned away, refusing to listen to your voice. “So now the solemn curses and judgments written in the Law of Moses, the servant of God, have been poured down on us because of our sin. 12 You have kept your word and done to us and our rulers exactly as you warned. Never has there been such a disaster as happened in Jerusalem. 13 Every curse written against us in the Law of Moses has come true. Yet we have refused to seek mercy from the Lord our God by turning from our sins and recognizing his truth. 14 Therefore, the Lord has brought upon us the disaster he prepared. The Lord our God was right to do all of these things, for we did not obey him. 15 “O Lord our God, you brought lasting honor to your name by rescuing your people from Egypt in a great display of power. But we have sinned and are full of wickedness. 16 In view of all your faithful mercies, Lord, please turn your furious anger away from your city Jerusalem, your holy mountain. All the neighboring nations mock Jerusalem and your people because of our sins and the sins of our ancestors.

Does this ring any ALARMS to you....it does to me....how often do I disobey, have evil thoughts, allowed pride into my life and refused to seek mercy, not sought holy guidance in his word or through the wisdom of others? I am so rebellious! I am full of pride and judgement. Good news ahead though...read on......

17 “O our God, hear your servant’s prayer! Listen as I plead. For your own sake, Lord, smile again on your desolate sanctuary. 18 “O my God, lean down and listen to me. Open your eyes and see our despair. See how your city—the city that bears your name—lies in ruins. We make this plea, not because we deserve help, but because of your mercy. 19 “O Lord, hear. O Lord, forgive. O Lord, listen and act! For your own sake, do not delay, O my God, for your people and your city bear your name.”

Daniel says, in verse 19 Lord hear! Lord, forgive! Lord listen! Lord act! and Oh yeah, Lord, can you do it fast? Don't delay.....I love it! Oh, that I can be a Daniel!

And then something amazing happens in the next verse! God hears, he immediately sends Daniel help to minister to him. He is sent to help Daniel to also interpret a dream or vision he had in the previous chapter. How great and faithful is our God. Gabrielle says to Daniel that he is precious to God. Friends, we are all precious to God. That so encourages me.

As I was praying, Gabriel, whom I had seen in the earlier vision, came swiftly to me at the time of the evening sacrifice. 22 He explained to me, “Daniel, I have come here to give you insight and understanding. 23 The moment you began praying, a command was given. And now I am here to tell you what it was, for you are very precious to God. Listen carefully so that you can understand the meaning of your vision.

Have a beautiful glorious day today. Take time to pray for our country today.

Blessings,

Shelli

The Shrinking Lizard!

So, I know you are all wondering what in the world does a lizard have to do with anything! Well, that is what I thought this morning as I awoke to a very weird and very real dream!

In my dream, I am at a big gathering of people. Some of the people I recognized, and many, I think I knew in my dream, but not in real life. But there were lots of people around. At the party, this lizard came out of nowhere and attacked my foot. It was a big lizard too! Like one of those kimono dragon kinds. Well, this lizard had the mouth of a snake and he was on my foot. It hurt! I was looking around asking people to help me and no one was paying any attention to me at all....just carrying on with their conversations! The lizard continued to get his mouth around more and more of my foot.....kinda like a snake does when it is eating a rodent.....

Well finally, I shook that thing off of me and ran. In my dream, I just ran outside to where the other people were. Well, a moment later, that darn lizard came after me....going for my hand this time. Same thing....I asked for help. No one payed any attention. It was trying to take my whole hand in its mouth again, but I shook him off again and got away.

Well, the lizard came after me a little while later that lizard found me again and it came for my foot, but it was smaller and couldn't get my entire foot. I shook it off, and again it came after me at my hand. Well, finally, this lizard came at me, but it was very small by now, and it could only get my toe. Still, it freaked me out and I kept calling for help from it and no one helped. Then, I finally shook it off of me and then I woke up!

I just laid in bed thinking, "What in the world?"

Well, before I give my interpretation of this dream, I need to reflect on the last few days of my walk.

Just recently, in an effort to carry out what I believe is an assignment from God, I have become burdened like never before, even to the point of feeling that heaviness in my spirit. Some call it oppression....I felt that last night and began talking to Michael about it. I feel like God has gifted me with several passions. One being to pray for others. I feel like He has provided me with many different opportunities to be His hands and feet. A friend gently reminded me this week to be prepared for the enemy to attack. That Satan does not like what is going on with me and that he will try to pull out all the stops to distract me, and to hinder me. I knew he was right. I didn't think it would be in me feeling sooooo burdened last night that it stole my joy. Everything going on in the world right now politically, really got me down. It was such a huge weight and even a fear. Michael reminded me gently. I do believe God wants me to pray over all of it and that is why he gave me the burden. But if I am so focused on the burden in itself......and the negativity of the burden, how can I be effective in being His hands and feet? My eyes are distracted by the burden and I forget about the loving Father's solutions. I forget his Love. I forget his compassion. I forget Him in my efforts to please him......Sometimes, I just need to quiet myself and be still. I am reminded of my once very powerful chain of legalism, and critical spirit, and negativity.

I, once again, need to repent. I let it ever so sneakily slip in. You know, if Satan cant come in the front door, he will try the back. If he can't get in the back door, he will try to find a little crack to sliver in through....and usually, then, we don't even know he has gotten in.....I am so thankful I recognized it before it became comfortable. The distractions are different for each person.

Many things distract me....one being the Internet. I get on and can't get off....It tends to take me in other directions spiraling out and my thoughts and emotions can become critical and negative. I begin to judge. I hate it when that happens. But, thankfully, I was able to pray, repent...receive HIS forgiveness, forgive myself, and "shake it off"

So, my dream came in the early morning hours of my previous revelation. The Devil, he came at me. A giant lizard....trying to impair or even take away my hands and feet. The same hands and feet that I was serving God with. No one could help me. Truly, no one can help me in this kind of spiritual battle. It is between me and God, and me relying on God to help me. That is why no one helped me. That is why I was alone in it. But, I did shake him off. Just like in real life, I shake that enemy off me. Then, when the enemy comes at me again, I am stronger in my faith, I am able to know how to free myself through God's word, and prayer......and again, I shake it off. By now, that Devil gets smaller and smaller. His stronghold in my life gets less and less.

The more experience I have "shakin him off" through my prayer time, and through taking up my sword of the spirit through scripture.....the more victorious I become in getting that evil spirit off of me! Eventually, that stronghold will no longer have ANY power over me! He has shrunken down and is powerless over me! O Happy DAY! I am FREE! Free of critical spirit, judgemental spirit, negativity...... Once we lick that stronghold, the greatest news is that we now have more power and authority when we recognize it and pray over it in other people's lives. That is a Good Word! I want more power and authority over the enemy...that is for sure!

But, I am a realist. I know that Devil is gonna come after me in another way. I have to be on guard. I need to put on my armor. The Full Armor of God! Every day. More on His Armor another time.

I guess the big moral of this story is this. Are you putting on your armor? Do you even know if that lizard has come in to your house? If so, do you wanna get him out? If not, ask God to help you discern the areas in your life that you need to "shake it off" I pray you will. See my other posting on how to pray on the Spiritual Armor of God.

I do hope I get a better night's sleep tonight.

Blessings,

Shelli

Is is okay for siblings to fight?

In our Sunday School Class, our teachers are teaching on "Raising Leaders" and our assignment was to discuss with our spouses and others how we felt about siblings fighting. Is it okay, is it not? It is all based on the story of David from the Bible....

So is fighting okay? If so, to what extent? What do you think?

Here is my take on it...but before I get to it...here is my history...

Now, I am not one who enjoys conflict. I consider myself more of a peace-maker. Growing up, you didn't talk about conflict. There never really was a conflict...it got swept up under our mountain high rug. Instead, my family did what we affectionately call..."Putting someone in the Penalty Box" Hockey enthusiasts know what I mean. If someone hadn't come around for awhile, or hadn't called, then it was probably because they were in the "box" It was a favorite saying of ours. "Oh, he's in the box!" So, unfortunately, to not be in the box, I stuffed my feelings. I never learned how to be a fighter. Now, my sister, she could use those words...she had a sharp tongue. If we ever got "into" it...I never had the last word....hers were always so good. I remember one time being so flustered with her in an argument, that I just stammered about and then yelled, "Well...Well...You NEED the LORD!" This in turn caused my mom and sister to burst out laughing. Then that became the next saying...."Well, she needs the Lord."

All joking aside, I didn't learn how to have healthy conflict. I married a man who definately knew conflict. He and his parents would just spout it all out! It made me very uncomfortable. I felt very unsafe. So after 12 years of marraige, My man and I are doing okay finally on the conflict and resolution. I can fight and stand my ground and be okay with it, And I guess Michael is glad that he can now be more vocal....cuz in the first years, I would just melt down and cry...when he started in. So there has to be a balance right?

Well, my two darlings have had a few good fights lately. I think that is okay. I think my job is to teach them how to be respectful in an argument, and then healthy ways that they can handle their valid angry feelings. Takes lots of time....in fact, Just a week ago, I had to handle them fighting.

It went down like this....Short version....I left the kids in the car in the Publix lot for 5 minutes....Lily was annoyed with Tripp....Tripp was annoying Lily by taking her flip flop....Lily hit Tripp and called him a name....Tripp hit her back with the Flip Flop....both are crying and yelling at eachother by the time I got back in the car...

How would you have handled that? Well, I immediately prayed for wisdom....decided we all needed to cool off. Everyone went to rooms. I prayed more. My deal is this. I don't EVER want to discipline the crime...I want to address the heart. If I can't get to the heart, then discipline to me is pointless. So after lots of individual talks, and Bible verses, and them each writing a heartfelt apology note, I hope that I was able to teach them how to fight. I remind them that its okay to fight...it is normal....but DISRESPECTING eachother is not. If you would not call Jesus a "poopie head" or "idiot" you shouldn't call your brother or sister that either. What I am challenged to teach them is to go to the place of anger and figure out how to deal with it. Is it really important to play with the flip flop? And, so what if he has your flip flop...do you really need it right now? Well, if he wont leave your room, you leave your room.....

You know I am so new at this. I just want to raise good leaders. I want my children to be good problem solvers. To know what conflict is and to know what conflict resolution is too. And, above all, live a life worthy of the King. Jesus said, whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me.

What do you think? I would love to hear from you?

Peace,

Shelli

my first ever blog!

That about sums up the point to my very first ever blog. I really have no idea what I am doing. Many people have encouraged me to blog and I respond back, "but I don't have anything worth sayin." The thing is, when I do have somethin to say, some people in my email loop really don't want to hear it or the reply alls that come forth....so again, I was encouraged to blog. So, here I am peeps.

I mean, I couldn't even think of a "name" for it! I asked God to show me somethin.....and he immediately did....Firefly.....do you know about fireflies?
Fireflies bring the most joy to children! I mean, come on! It is just a bug! What is the big deal.....Seriously....... I never really got that! The thing is, when fireflies are evident, it is in the darkness. I began to think about these ity bities....These little bity bugs light up the back yards in summer, to the delight of younguns and adults. The more out there, the merrier. Children are scramblin' to contain 'em in their mason jars with holes poked in the top. They just gotta have a piece of that light! Well, as I began to think more on that I realized that, well, Can't ya just see God looking among us in this dark and crazy world. Some of us catch a piece of his light, or his presence.....we hear a word, sing a song, get inspired some way or some how...and our joy is bursting out of us!

I wanna be a firefly in this crazy world we live in. I want others to be affected by my joy in the Lord. I know there are other fireflies out there too.....I wanna hear your stories. We can encourage eachother.

So, in a nutshell, that is why I came to Lightinfly for the name, cuz Firefly was already taken, and some people call fireflies lightning bugs, so.....I just came up with Lightinfly.....
There it is my friends.....Welcome to my first ever blog. I hope that there will be days you are inspired. I will get this all figured out in the meantime......like, postin' pictures, and attachin' links, and the like.....until then...

Grace and Peace to you!

Shelli