What's your color????

Choosing our wardrobe reveals much more about you than just your "style". I am learning that even the colors I choose to wear that day reflect and actually affect my mood that day as well.

In researching, I have found that color can stimulate or inhibit certain behaviors. Advertising executives,Psychologists, and even the fitness industry has known this all along....

Research shows that exercise is best performed in an environment of warm colors, such as reds and oranges, and then blues and greens are good for mental concentration.

Even in Literature.......poets and authors tap into a deeper interpretation of the colors. Red with rage, green with jealousy, purple passion, feeling blue, he is yellow, are common.

I read about a Swiss psychiatrist named Carl Jung who encouraged his patients to use color in their paintings to express the deepest unconscious part of their psyches. I know I have gone through favorite color phases.....In my single years, into even about 5 years ago...I LOVED red!!!! Then, I went through a phase of green a few years back. In the last year I found that I LOVE yellow! Yellow purses, yellow dresses (I wore to a convention last summer)...I almost bought a yellow car back in September. My sweet daughter now every time she sees something yellow, says, "Mom, look, a yellow ________!"

I am also very in tune with pink right now. Don't know why, but lately everything I buy, whether a journal, day planner, scarf, or shirt....has been pink. So if I tie that into my personality, what would that Swiss psychiatrist say about me?????

He said, Extroverts favor red (yah!), introverts prefer blue (never liked blue), yellow is the choice of intellectuals (REALLY?????), and well-balanced individuals tend to go for green (hmmmm!) Pink is a color for new beginnings. Gray and Black, they typically signify wanting to blend in, not stand out. Not sure about that as I know some people who love to wear those colors.

So, what are you wearing today? Are you being influenced by your mood and choosing your clothes accordingly today? Or, is your clothing today influencing you?

Today, I choose to be pink..... and possibly, a smidgen of green.....

What are you wearing?????

Today, I changed clothes twice.

At first, I was wearing my skinny jeans, with a delicate creamy colored tunic...lacy and feminine....and my brown boots. But, then I realized, I didn't feel this way AT ALL! So I changed clothes.

Now, its my skinny jeans, my yellow and black and white whimsy rain boots(it is rainy today)....my bright green parka with the belt tied tightly at the waist...don't wanna look frumpy or anything. I do have a waist. Because my roots are two weeks overdue for color....I chose a favorite hat and did the piggy tail thing today. I love that my hair is long enough to do fun pig tails if I feel like it. My Color gets touched on Friday....an entirely different post....as I am feeling very creative. I keep experimenting with streaks.....I do believe I will do something very daring this Friday with my color.

I surveyed myself in the mirror.....Yep, that is the way I am feeling today....with a nod, a little bit (not a lot) of make-up, I am out the door.

as I reflect on my choice, and why, it leads me to do a little research on color therapy, and ask my readers, "what are you wearing?" and then, "why?"

So, what are you wearing today??????

Tomorrow, I will post some information that I have found to be extremely telling.............

Peace out!

Have Mercy for Lives that are shattered
cast with hard doctrine and creed
If it's only the idols that mattered
Plaster would be all they need

David Wilcox...from the song Cast Off

The entire Song Cast Off resonates with me immensely! I love it! I am ripping off hard doctrine and creed in my life. Ripping off "Christianese" theology.......The ugly smelly fraying thing has not served me well. Has crippled me.....I've kept it on longer than I ever needed it. Atrophy set in, now the painful physical therapy and retraining comes.....discovering TRUTH. Truth about me, and truth about God's love, and truth about what HE says to me and about me. Its so easy to fall into the traps and cliche's.....even when I think I am aware of them....I get sucked in......

Don't know what my therapy will look like. Don't know how long it will take.....Don't give a darn....just know its gonna happen. Its gonna hurt...but its gonna make me stronger for sure....

In a sermon recently, I heard this statement, and it sooo resonated with me. The quote was, "You are not responsible for other people's judgements or perceptions of you" That set me free. It is so true. I am not responsible for any one's perception of how I am living my life. As a former "people pleaser/ performer" I hear it and I believe it in my head....even receive it in my heart sometimes......but can I truly live that out in my daily life and not worry about what others think of me or my decisions.

Or, what about what people think of my past decisions? That's huge. I am thankful for many people in my life who love me no matter. You know, Jesus "did life" with a lot of screw ups.....

Think about it.....

Tax Collectors

Adulterers (Yep, some of the women in his inner circle)

Men who denied him over and over

Men who doubted him

Insecure men who fought over who He liked most

Fishermen...(I bet they had some real foul language too!)

the man who betrayed him

These, the men and women in his inner circle! With all their junk, HE saw their gold.

I wanna see the gold. I pray my gold will outweigh my junk.

I must daily break off that people pleaser mentality... God knows my heart. So not to sound like an "I don't care what the *##@# you think" kinda girl...I know in my heart how I am living and my choices and when I screw up....I can name them...own them....ask forgiveness if needed....and move on....

That is so so hard. Especially now, as I have made recent choices that were, well, a disappointment......to put it mildly. I AM experiencing GRACE..... My heart still hurts over certain areas. I cannot live my life though for others.....for what they think I need to do. I have to get myself "centered" and on stable ground. Then, and only then can I say with a clear conscience my decisions are right.

I am learning a lot about asking for the things I need. I have come to understand that when I ask for what I need, I may not get it......but for me to ask for it is powerful. I asked a new friend this weekend on a women's weekend where the brownies were, cuz I was cravin me some sweets. There were NO sweets for us at meals.....but, this dear woman showed me love, in that later, she came to me and said, "you asked for what you needed, would you like a piece of chocolate?" I know that seems funny, but for me, it was very powerful. Yeah, I asked for what I needed......a little comfort food.....fully expecting not to have any at all. But this sweet lady, blessed me later on.....

So, what I really NEED NOW, is to heal from some things, and be able to have safe spaces to do so in my own timing, in my own way....without any pressure, condemnation, control, or guidance other than my counselor, or when I ask for it. What I NEED is to be able to look "you" in the eye and smile a knowing smile that "its all good"

I've learned a lot in the last few months about loving others through their shit. I don't hold judgement on anyone. My story has taken some twists and turns that will I know let me love on others someday in a way I may never have been able to love them otherwise. For this reason, I am thankful for my current pain. I NEED to embrace it....feel it.....heal.......with wisdom, courage, and GRACE.

I am so thankful for the GRACE.

I cannot recover from the trauma of knowing that my actions have cost many pain?

Choices have consequences...good or bad.

you reap what you sow.....

In a whirlwind of emotion, I realize the truth in all of these sayings. Not only have poor choices I have made recently costed me......but like the pebble thrown into a pond and the ripples continue out......my choices have affected many other's lives. I regret pain I have brought them way more than myself. I have hurt people....and yes, I have been deeply hurt by people too.....My heart aches for over my pain and yes I grieve for their pain I have caused many. Broken, hurting, and I know people tell me to lay "it" at his feet. I don't know what that looks like. It seems like just something Christians say...."lay it at his feet" There is no comfort.

I am not the Mighty Princess Warrior I had tattooed on my wrist. I want to be. I am in a dark place right now. I know God doesn't grade sin.....sin is sin, yet I feel like some of the things I have chosen lately have taken me very far away. I have let many people down, and I am sorry. As I work through my pain, I my blogs may not be what you are looking for.

.....and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3

Sometimes, I look at my life, and as I definately relate to the verse above that the ashes in my life, have been replaced by His beauty, I think of this ancient mythological bird the Pheonix.......

This beautiful scarlet and golden Phoenix bird is represents recovery, especially after calamity. It originates from the traditions of ancient Phoenicia, yet is seen in greek mythology, and even traced in the Bible......

(Psalm 92:12 and Job 29:18)

The bird traditionally lives near a cool well which it visits each morning to bathe and sing. It is a stunningly beautiful bird with an entrancing song. When the Phoenix reaches the end of its life, it’s said to build itself a nest of aromatic spices such as cinnamon and myrrh. It then sets the nest and itself on fire and is burned to ashes. Shortly, the Phoenix rises again and begins its life anew.

This song says it all

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdZJB_6U1aI

My Tattoo. It is looking better each day.

I am trying to take very very good care of it.

The letters that I shared yesterday, I keep in my Bible, and frequently pull out to re-read. I don't want to dwell on the sad little girl I was at age 9 and who has been a part of me for so long. I want to remember her, so that I can truly rejoice in the new creation God has begun in me. He has brought that little girl and my now woman together to his new beautiful Mighty Princess Warrior. It is only by His grace that I am free from so many of the strongholds that were set up in me for so long. Now, there are still stones that try to sneak in my garden. Some are hurled in my garden so fast, I can't even see strait and I have to dig it up and throw it out again......that really frustrates me and makes me mad by the way! I still go to counseling, I still have to read that letter from God.....and be reminded of he He sees me. I have drank in the chapters in the book of Isaiah and been so loved on.

Recently.....and I mean recently...like a few days ago....I was in so much pain and despair over some of my "still issues in my heart" and over current situations going on in my life...that I actually entertained for an evening, what would it be like to just be gone....to just end it. Kinda like a George Bailey moment from Its a Wonderful Life. Oh the enemy was really getting me good.....I immediately texted my prayer warrior friend and told her and I know her prayers immediately took affect....cuz it wasn't but 10 minutes later and I all of a sudden snapped out of it.......I distinctly remember saying, "God, I have not remembered who you have called me! I have not remembered what you have said about me! I have not embraced my new name! Help me remember!" I don't ever want to forget that I am a Mighty Woman.....I am His Precious Princess...and I am a Warrior....and Over comer! I will cast these stones out again....I will live like a Princess.....It was that moment that I knew....I would tattoo this on me. I had been thinking for years about a tattoo. I just knew when I got one, it would symbolize something and be meaningful to me. That there would be a story behind it. Well, I know have my story to share....my tattoo to remind me every day, multiple times a day of who I truly am. I am His Mighty Princess Warrior.....