My new name......Part 2

The Lord revealed to me, through my journaling, stones the Enemy had thrown into my garden a young age. The enemy loves to take a circumstance and begin to spin it, and throw accusations, belief systems, and lies. Then you grow up believing them. This is no fault of my family. I have come to learn that children will grow up with holes in their hearts, that only God can fill. In the healthiest and greatest of environments, children have wounds. I had to get to the wounds, and re-visit down deep in my core certain situations, so then and only then, God could lovingly reveal the lies set up in my heart, and then replace them with HIS truths. And that is what happened. These lies were my stones. I won't go into all of the lies.....that is for me and the Lord....as I still at times get a stone re-visit me.......however.....I will reveal to you a few and the truths He showed me....A Huge stone of Punishment, or a punishing spirit was in my garden, as well as insecurity. There were about 8 of them.

Once I realized my stones....and how they had affected me and shaped my thoughts and ways of doing life....I sought out the truth. What is it that God said about me. You see, I can't fight the lies without the truth. It was amazing to see what God revealed to me. I know this may sound crazy. I then went on a stone hunt. I sought out the perfect stones to physically symbolize my spiritual stones. They had to be just right! Some small..... One stone, I knew was huge....it would have to be perfect! On my walk, I did find it. It was mostly buried underneath the earth. I had to dig it out. Then heave it up and carry it to the edge of the cliff I was planning on hurling them off of. You see, I collected all my stones. Gathered them together for my "Stone Throwing Ceremony" and had my new truths to say goodbye to the lies....forever....Well, wishful thinking there. The Enemy, well, he likes to try to sneak them back into my garden now and then. Sometimes, when I am tired, he does manage to get one or two back in. I still struggle with Insecurity......and lets be honest......many women do.

I picked up each stone, proclaimed it out loud that it would no longer have power over me, and then I hurled it with all of my might off the cliff into the deep valley below! Then I proclaimed God's truths over me!!!! As for the Punishing spirit....well, all my life, I believed if I was "bad" and (what the heck is bad anyway....according to the world's eyes or my own false sense of good and bad set up by legalism) that God would punish me. I learned from Isaiah that: God is NOT angry with me, my sins ARE forgiven! He is NOT punishing me. Is 54:9-10 "For this is like the days of Noah to Me, when I swore that the waters of Noah would not flood the earth again; so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you Nor will I rebuke you. For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, but my loving kindness will not be removed from you and my covenant of peace will not be shaken," says the Lord who has compassion on you.

He is a loving God and wants to bless me and love on me. Stone by stone, I hurled them off the cliff. The last stone, which will remain unnamed.......for now.....I went to get, and lo and behold if I wasn't sittin on it! Very appropriate, since it seemed this stone had been a system camped out in the deep recesses of my heart for a very long time. By the grace of God, I will not have to hurl it again.....because it was HEAVY. I bet 40 pounds. I picked that stone up, and heaved it over my head and I let out a battle cry as I threw it down into the valley. I felt like Brave Heart giving my battle cry.....a warrior saying NO MORE!!!!!

Again, exhausted from the activity....I needed rest. I went and laid in this hammock under a comfy quilt with my tunes for hours......I slept some, under the fresh air and the rustling of the leaves I felt so much peace. Even though I was alone.....I didn't feel lonely. Maybe that is because I really wasn't alone at all....I had my heavenly Father with me and that was the best.

I knew that more work was coming. For now, I was resting in Him. Stay tuned for the finale.....