Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Dog that I was......

Well, however you wanna say it...."i am all shook up" "i am burning up" or literally, "I am a wreck" I tend to write like I talk, so who knows exactly how this will come out. I am just letting my fingers do the typing. The Lord has been so good to me and is revealing more than these fingers can type.....at least for now....more to come.....
To say that I have had a special touch from the Lord recently is a huge understatement. He has been so loving and gentle with me in my current life situation and ..... oh yeah, patient. I feel like I have been given an amazing gift! My love and adoration of Him taken to knew heights, but I know His love and adoration of me is AMAZING too! So when I say, I am a wreck, I mean it. I am head over heels in love with my Lord and it has me in quite a condition right now.

NOW................................

Some may know that my dog is causing a great deal of stress in my life right now. He doesn't obey, he makes me drag him to the crate......and I hurt my back every time it is bedtime. I had to break down and hire the doggie llama this week. I am sure I will be writing on it, cuz i am finding major parallels in my relationship with the dog to my walk with the lord...(is there a country music song in there somewhere?)

For instance, this morning, before the DL (doggie llama) came, I was inviting Samson into the house and he wouldn't come. He just wants to sit on the back porch waiting for the kids to get home from school....I enticed him in and even offered him a treat. I held it out and said, "wanna treat?" and he just stared at me...hesitant. Like he wanted it, but did this mean that I was gonna make him do something he didn't want to do? "Common, boy, its good," I coaxed. He inched a little closer, still hesitant...I knew he wanted it. Then, as I took a step to him, he darted the other direction. Like I was gonna try to lead him to his crate. So, I just ended up throwing it on the floor for him to come get and pick up on his own. I was really trying to love on him and be his friend. But, he didn't trust me....He still got the treat....but not the lovin' on.

Immediately, it caused me to reflect into my own life.

I am the dog, I thought. I know God has good things to show me, and good things to give me. He wants me to have them. He loves me. Sometimes, I am afraid because, If I surrender or take them, he is gonna make me do something I don't wanna do. It is a lie I have been believing for way too long. That lie has kept me from experiencing the fullness of the Lord for way too long. I saw myself in my dog today and actually felt sad. I saw me wanting the "treat" and hesitating for fear of being led to something I didn't want. When really, all God wants (and all I wanted) is to love on me, and enjoy me.....God telling me, "common girl, its good....." I have seen myself run the other direction when I know God is drawing near.....for fear. It is quite sad. Now, before you think, "oh poor Shelli, she is living in this torment...." No that ain't true either. This story is a picture of my old life. Sometimes, I still can get the treat....but not all the lovin' on He wants to give me.......

I have been touched by my Father, I know what he has for me is good. I know that He adores me. I have tasted his goodness in my life. I trust him completely. The picture I got this morning, it revealed the "old Shelli" and just solidified my relationship with Him. It makes me want to share with all of you how great it can be when we surrender to Him. When we just truly rest in Him. Believe that He is a good God, not a punishing one.

He wants to bless us (with treats) cuz that is just how good he is.....but he really wants to love on us too. We are his children!

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